I have noticed a terrible pattern in my life – that I quite often let fear dictate my choices. I struggle with anxiety and fear which handicap my life in so many different ways. Anxiety is a lesser evil than many physical handicaps, but an evil nonetheless. It’s a mental isolation, a fear of the unknown and a form of self-destruction. If you have anxiety or struggle with panic attacks, you know exactly what I mean. It’s a hopeless illness, but I want to tell you that you’re strong enough to break through.
This past March I took a trip to New York City and had crippling panic attacks on the subway. I was so frightened from being underground that I couldn’t see where I was going. I cried and shook and couldn’t get my body to stop. I was very overcome by anxiety and fear. This happens to me sometimes when I face situations that are out of my control, not always to that extent, but anxiety creeps in every time I am afraid.
Whenever I was afraid, my thoughts felt out of control. I would often think of what I would do if I would fall. I began to realize I needed to change my way of thinking – I just needed to have hope! I began turning things around in my mind and instead of being afraid of falling, I’d ask myself – oh darling what if you fly? Fear is dictated by allowing your thoughts to go to the worst possible scenario and it leads to hopeless thinking.
I no longer look at my life through a lens of despair, but I look at life as an opportunity to fly!
Beautiful girl I promise you there is much richness in spreading your wings. When you choose to let go, open your eyes and completely live in a moment, God will take you to new heights and you will see like you never have before.
Our lives begin when we decide to explore all God has for us. Whether we give ourselves to travel, ministry, a career, or a family, there is more than this computer screen and your favorite chair to curl up in. There are so many day where I wanted to crawl into bed and hide under the covers forever, but the days when I risk my comfort are the days I write about in blogs, the days I sing about, the days I truly live! I encourage you, do not let fear takeover you. This world is so big and you were created for it. My dear friend once said, “We are wired for love, fear is learned.” It’s incredibly true and slowly my heart is changing, realizing more and more that being open and free is what I’m supposed to be.
This blog was written by Pure Design Teen Magazine’s blogger Carly Sage. Carly is 19 and lives in Youngstown, Ohio where she attends Victory School of Ministry. She hopes to be in full-time ministry as a pastor one day and loves to express herself through writing!
